I need some emotional help please

Ok so I went back to work this week and I work 12 hour shifts at the hospital overnight. I am a wreck. I am so scared od SIDS that I could throw up. Every time I leave her I have a deep fear that when I get home she will be gone. I feel sick to my stomach. I know they say put her on her back in her crib but she will not sleep in her crib she sleeps in my bed on her side. I am so scared. Can someone please tell me what to do to get over this fear.

Who has her while you are at work?  Do you trust this person?  I thinks it's normal to worry about your baby, but there is a point that's not normal.  I'm not saying that you are at that point.  It might be worth mentioning to your Dr. though.  I believe this can be a symptom of PPD.
Would you feel better if she was in her crib on her back while you are gone?   You may have to let her cry herself to sleep a couple of times before she will sleep this way (which I've never been able to let Hannah cry herself to sleep...I'm a softie).
Good luck!
Amy

First let me give you a big cyber (((((((((((((((((HUG))))))))))))))))))))))))

I can totally relate with your fear.  I lost my first baby (25 years ago) but not to sids she was stillborn at 39.5 weeks.  It was the hardest thing I ever endured then.  So after having children I developed a fear that I would hardly sleep checking on my babies all night long.  If I fell asleep and I woke up and looked at the baby sleeping soundly I would freak out and shake them to see if well you know what I mean??   Man it is awful!! I have a total of 6 children 3 adults and 3 small one and until this day I still go through that with my 16 month old. 
My daughter co sleeps with me since I nurse her and just the other night I woke up with that fear where I startled her and she cried. 

I feel for you being away from the baby you can not check on her continuously.  I would definitely talk to you spouse or whoever is watching her at night to lay her in the crib where the mattress is firm and you know that the baby is safer there.  Like Amy said even if it takes to let her cry a bi to get her used to sleeping the crip.  You can put the wedges on her sides to keep her from rolling.  My kids really never liked sleeping on their back so I make sure they were on their sides with the wedges.

I hope the fear eases up soon.  I wish there was something magical I could say to you. 

Hugs,

Big Hugs. Going back to work is never easy. I STILL check on Niko and he's almost a year old. My Hubby does it too. SIDs scares the crap out of me. I think it's pretty normal to be worried, but also think it may be a symptom of PPD and maybe separation anxiety(on your part). Make sure you are doing all the other "right" things...i.e., sleeping with a pacifier and a fan on in the room, nothing in the area where she sleeps, no thick blankets or stuffed animals. She might stay on her back if she's in a sleep bag(like sleepaponomus--sp) or swaddled.

Most of all, check on her by calling often. You are her parent and have a right to be concerned.

Again Hugs,
Angie

Hi Stacey!
I can feel your pain. That was my #1 fear once Josiah was born. Not that is is a 100% guarantee but we bought an angel monitor. http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2970307
I felt so much better after we got it...

(((HUGS)))
Erika

Not a lot of help I can give but a hug!! I know I feel the same way when my kids are born and even now that they are 15 and 10 when I am up going to the bathroom I check on them at night also. I am not as obsessive about it as I was when they were young but its a fear for sure. I say talk to your doc also and see if there is something that can help for the big part of it. Just make sure you keep talking about how you feel and know you are never alone.

Boy can I relate!! I had such a hard time returning to work and leaving my daughter! I was a wreck for pretty much the first nine months or so. And I was scared of Sids too! In fact, my daughter slept through the night for the first time at five weeks (She's a great little sleeper!!). That next day was her blessing day at our church, and I had been preparing the food and celebrations for weeks. I remember being so tired and bolting out of bed at 7:00 am and dashing across the room, thinking "She's dead!" and, she wasn't. She was still sleeping, happy as can be. I spent a lot of time stopping to listen for her breathing for the first several years. I believe it is normal to really struggle heading back to work. I also think SIDS is something incredibly frightening for moms, and in your situation your concerns over SIDS can't really be helped because you can't be there to listen or fly across the room, so that is just adding to all the stress and adjustment over returning to work. It's a tough situation. Maybe try working something out with your DH to call you once a night after he has checked on the baby. If you need more than once, try twice or more for a few weeks. Best of luck finding a solution! And good luck with the returning to work transition- it was the toughest part of parenthood for me! Just take it one shift at a time. I still take work one shift at a time....

Carrie

Okay. I teach SIDS prevention. I was the same way with my kids, very paranoid. She needs to be sleeping by herself. Try a swing, anything to get her out of your bed. Make sure she is not overheated, with lots of clothes or blankets. Nothing should be in the bed with her(pillows, blankets, except for a light one, toys, etc. Pacifiers are great. She really shouldn't be on her side. No one should be smoking around her. If you do these things the risk of SIDS is reduced. I hope this helps.

I think it is normal post-partum mommy fears.  I was afraid of so many crazy things...

If you are not a smoker, she's on her back, and monitored -- well, try not to worry.  It is in the genes to worry now.  I think they get switched on or something.